Dear Santa,
God bless ya. You know, you're my bestest mate, and I send this letter to you to try and set the record straight.
See, I’ve been really good all year, and I’ve tried so very hard, and I always help me mum and dad with little jobs around the yard.
But, sometimes accidents happen, and it’s always me what gets the blame.
So, Santa, you must believe me, as I need to clear my name.
It wasn’t me who burnt the haystack down, though they found matches in my pocket.
Then the hay shed caught on fire to the machinery shed, Dad’s tractor blew up like a rocket.
And it cost him heaps for renewal because the insurance company didn’t pay.
They said we were a bad risk after I burned the dairy down last May.
And because I burned the dairy down, Dad had nowhere to keep the cow, so I let her walk on the road by herself.
She’s probably in North Queensland by now.
And Dad used to let me pick up the mail from the mailbox at the end of the lane, but after I lost his wool check, he said I’m never allowed to go there again.
And one day, I thought I’d be real helpful.
I’d start the mower, but that mower has got a mind of its own.
And Mum’s prize winning roses got shorn.
And speaking of things with a mind of their own, Dad’s ute was like that as well.
I accidentally started it in gear and it shot through like a bat out of hell and wiped out the garage and the outhouse, then up the tank stand it started to climb.
And Dad got really upset because he was in the outhouse at the time.
So things haven’t gone too well for me
I’ve had a very unfortunate year, but I know that you will forgive me and still bring me some Christmas cheer.
So, please come to my house, Santa, although you might not recognise the place.
Because I accidentally burned it down last, and Dad’s got a strange look on his face.
But, I know he will cheer up if you bring heaps of presents really quick, and have a happy Christmas yourself, Santa.
From your bestest favourite little boy, Mick
Mick Coventry